On a roll

Will had been on a roll. He had slept through the night for the past 6 weeks.

At our last trip to the pediatrician, Will was 4m old and he had just started waking up in the night after weeks of getting a full nights rest. As of the day of our doctor's appointment, it had been 5 nights in a row where Will suddenly woke up crying. Everytime we walked in, Will would smile big and kick with excitement. What mom doesn't love to see that? So, I would swoop down and pick him up, hold him, offer him a bottle, and then put him back to bed.

When telling the pediatrican about our woes, she immediately recognized us for the rookies that we are and pointed out the error of our ways. Will didn't need us. He just woke up and wanted to play. He really wasn't even hungry, but as our pediatrician said, if someone offered you chocolate cake in the middle of the night - would you turn them down? So we got the message loud and clear... it was time for the dreaded experience of crying it out.

Oh how I didnt want to do this! It is really hard for me to hear that little guy cry and not run in and see that smiling face and watch him kick. (I just love the kicks!) How sweet it is that he stops crying just with our presence! Luckily, we found a great book that made us feel much better about crying it out.

So that night we put him down for bed. We first heard his cries at 10:30pm. I told Chad to come get me in 10 minutes if he was still crying, then I went to the other end of the house, closed the door and turned up the tv. I was going to have to hiberate to get through this! After listening to the cry for maybe a minute longer, Chad walked in the room - he couldn't take it either. We just sat there, watching the monitor/Will TV and wondered if we could do this! Would he stop crying? Our pediatrician said that as long as we know Will is ok, we could let him cry it out as long as it takes or, more likely, as long as we could take it. I just wasn't sure how long I could take it. Thankfully, Will stopped in 10 minutes. He woke up again around 4am, and the same thing happened. This happened for 2 nights in a row, we let him cry, and since then we haven't heard a peep from him during his typical 13 hour slumber.

Well, until last night. Last night we heard Will start to cry around 4:30am. While I think we both were surprised, we looked at the monitor and could see him moving. We decided everything was ok and just to let him cry. A very slow and painful 10 minutes passed, and I had to go check on him. Good thing, because the boy was stuck! He had his head cocked way back (the uncomfortable position I have mentioned before) and his facewas pressed up against the side of the crib. I assume he couldnt figure out how to move his feet so he could get his head out of that awful position. I felt just terrible for letting that little boy cry knowing now that he was stuck! It actually took a little while to calm him down. I think he was a bit scared.

And then it was just the sweetest thing to sit there and rock him. I love letting him snuggle up against me and burrow his head into my arms. Once he calmed down, he looked at me and smiled. For a moment I missed those early nights when he wasn't sleeping through the night. I always enjoyed the night time feedings as they were so peaceful. There is something so serene about rocking a little baby in a dark room with lullabies in the background. There are no distractions. It was a great time for reflection and to give thanks for the gift of motherhood.

Today I am a little more tired, but I think it is those little special moments that I will remember. I won't remember that I was tired today, or how great I felt on the nights when I got a good nights sleep when I was not awakened by his cries. I surely will remember laying in bed, watching the clock for the 10 minute mark, walking in his room to find he was stuck!, calming him down, and then...the smile as if to tell me he was ok. It is these sweet tender moments that will stay with me forever.