Reflection

It is hard for me to believe that Will is actually 11 months old!  In some ways it feels like there is no way that much time has passed, and in other ways, it seems like forever ago that I held Will in my arms for the first time.  I don't totally remember what life was like without Will even though I had so many years without him, but I know that since he has been in my life, I have learned more and loved more than I could ever have imagined. 

I was so in love with Will from the moment I saw him.  Seeing that little baby for the first time after carrying him around for 9 months... it is just a moment I will forever cherish but I cannot put it into words.  It's like your heart gets bigger and fills with so much love to share with this tiny little baby.  The first night I didn't seem tired after being woken up often in the night, and I remember thinking that this baby stuff was going to be easy!  Then night after night of little sleep took it's toll, and I learned that sleep is something to treasure, to be thankful for, and for me... it is also a necessity!

I learned to spot 2oz, 4oz and 8ozs without really looking at measurements, to hold a baby in one arm while doing almost anything else with the other.  I learned to sleep on demand, sleep through someone vacuuming around me, sleep anywhere.  My body knew to wake up at the littlest peep Will made.  I could hear him from almost anywhere... with or without the monitor.  I watched more "Will TV" (our video monitor) in those first few months when I should have been sleeping myself, but how do you take your eyes off a peaceful sleeping baby? 

I learned patience.  Well, I didn't learn it, it just happened.  I have no patience in life, but I have all the patience in the world for Will.  I can't explain that one, but I am thankful that I do have patience and that it came naturally.  Learning patience at my age would be hard! 

I learned that it is the little things that make Will laugh.  I tried so hard at first to make him laugh, and then found he laughs easily.  He thinks it is funny when I put on Chad's glasses, play peek-a-boo, put his blankie over his head, tease him by letting him almost get something and then whisking him away.  Tickling always works, and Maggie is clearly the best entertainment for him and I hope they continue to play together for years to come.

I learned that having a group of first time moms with babies close in age can get you through any baby hurdle.  We were and are all going through the same things at the same time, and this first year has been so positively influenced by the first time mom's group.  What a fabulous and diverse group; each person with different and great ideas to share from experience, vairous pediatricians, and other friends.  This has been such a fun way to learn - together - all about our babies, motherhood and parenthood.

I learned to share Will with Loli, our nanny.  The first days were so hard!  Hearing him cry and then NOT being the one to comfort him was hard - so hard!  However, Loli has been fabulous for us and for Will.  She has done more things than I would have done - putting him in a park swing at 3 months old, and letting him try some food even earlier.  She has taught him Spanish and he clearly knows many words in both Spanish and English.  In fact, he often knows the Spanish word first and then I am quick to teach him the English word as well.  Will smiles every morning when he sees Loli walk in the door, and I smile everytime I hear Will laughing and squeling with Loli while I am upstairs working.

I have loved seeing the joy and happiness a little baby can bring to so many people.  Will's grandparents think he hung the moon in the sky, and his Aunt Leen cannot resist loving on him every change she gets!  Will has been so wonderful for strengthening our bonds and our parents and siblings.  In public, people will break from their conversations, their shopping to peek at Will and smile or comment.  I am sure this is the case with all babies, but it is just such an amazing treat with having a baby and seeing how others react to positively to the little ones.

I have learned what people mean when they say a baby will change your life.  It does in so many ways.  Yes, it means we are no longer spontaneous after 7:30pm and date nights take a little more planning.  It means that our weekends are not our own - I no longer get manicures often or find myself having long weekend brunches with the girls.  Instead, I wake up, peek at the monitor to see if my little guy is stirring yet, and then know that the moment he first sees me, I will be greeted with a big smile.  He will lift his arms up so i can hold him and love on him.  He will play and find such joy in the little things - today it was the broom.  He could have played with the broom all day.  Watching him grow, seeing him figure things out, watching him smile when he is proud of himself, seeing him dance to any music that plays, watching him climb the stairs and squeal...these are all the moments that I now treasure.  While I sometimes miss the long brunches at Breadwinners, I am truly enjoying these moments with him.  Just thinking of these things, I notice I have a big grin just at the memories of the past 11 months.  And I know there are many more to come!